Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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