Old men and throwing up are my life now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
