people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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