So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
