You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
