im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
