omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
