You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
