And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
