I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
