can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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