They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
please don't ironically join a cult
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