Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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