Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
