I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
