Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
