I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
