Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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