He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
