So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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