Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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