I want you more than these girls want KFC
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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