I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
