I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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