ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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