I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
