I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
