How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
