im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
