I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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