I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
