he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
