You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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