at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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