she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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