'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
