So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
