Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I want a musical about memes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
