You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
