i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
