people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
