respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So vagazzling was a success
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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