oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
