thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
