I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
