were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
