I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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