so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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