Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
