my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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